Yes, we decided to go to the beach.
Because after Bangkok, we wanted fresh air, calm, and “family-friendly vibes.”
So naturally…
we chose Pattaya.
Yep.
Pattaya.
A place that is famously not a kids destination.
We didn’t fully understand what we’d booked yet.
We just saw “beach” and our brains went:
Perfect. Healing. Vitamin sea.
The Beach That Didn’t Spark Joy
Let’s just say:
The beach did not look inviting.
You know that dreamy travel idea you have in your head? Soft sand, clear water, kids building castles, parents relaxing?
Yeah. Not that.
But travel is rarely what you imagine.
So we did what we do best:
We found the good parts.
The Unexpected Wins
Pattaya had:
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an amazing ice cream shop
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fruit stalls everywhere
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and roti stands with chocolate/banana pancakes that made the kids (and honestly me) very happy
That kind of food that instantly improves everyone’s mood.
We had a small kitchen so we could make omelets and toast for the morning.
The Walks Were… Educational
Walking around was… an experience.
Because in between the nice things, there were also:
clubs. cafés. “not kid friendly” views.
Let’s call it:
A cultural lesson we didn’t request.
We kept our eyes forward.
We kept walking.
We pretended we were definitely not explaining things yet.
And then we found the thing that saved Pattaya completely:
The Waterpark
A giant waterpark.
And it was amazing.
The kids were entertained all day.
We went full vacation mode.
Slides, pools, little areas for the smallest, big attractions for the older ones.
At one point we had to step on a scale because some slides had minimum weight requirements.
Because Thailand doesn’t just trust your confidence.
Thailand wants proof.
So we did the only logical thing:
We split into teams.
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Me + Amber on slides
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Michael + the others in the small kids pool
Then we swapped.
And then came the funniest part:
Twice, the attraction staff didn’t fully believe our weight situation.
So they joined in.
Yes.
A staff member literally came with us (me and Amber) because we didn’t meet the minimum weight and they needed to… help.
I wish I was kidding.
I was laughing so hard I could barely hold the tube.
The GoPro Moment
We took the GoPro on one of the slides that goes really fast.
The kind that makes you regret everything halfway down.
Amber’s face was pure betrayal.
At the bottom she yelled something like:
“You lied, Dad! It IS fast!”
And honestly?
She was right.
We hit the water so hard that the tube basically launched her into it.
She popped up shocked, offended, and somehow still ready for the next one.
Kids are incredible.
The beach
We found an amazing beach!
And no — not Pattaya beach.
We took the boat to Ko Lan for a proper island beach day.
The ferry there was totally fine — about 45 minutes, easy with kids, and honestly… such a relief.
Clear water. Soft sand. And the best part: beach chairs with toys for the kids right there on the sand. Instant win.
We played treasure hunt: Michael brought a few coins and secretly “dropped” them in the sand.
Then it was: snorkel time!
The kids went full detective mode, searching underwater like tiny pirates, and it was so much fun.
The Speedboat Drama (Because Of Course)
On the way back we thought: let’s take a speedboat. Quick and easy.
But the price they asked was more than standart. And my brain went:
There must be a better way.
I noticed speedboats picking people up directly from the beach (not from the docks), so naturally I tried to hack the system.
I walked into the sea with Matt in the carrier, heading toward the boat…
and they waved me away.
It felt like the wall of shame in front of all the people watching from their sun beds. Rows of sunbeds....
Mike encouraged me to try again when the next one came. And of course he filmed my walk....laughing.
Second attempt: waved away again before I could even ask.
So fine.
We gave up and went back to the docks to pay the “official” price.
Except… the speedboat had just left.
No worries — I’ll call him back! (Yes, he did!)
He came back for us, we jumped on, and he took off at full speed.
And then…
He stopped.
Because he ran out of fuel.
But don’t worry — he had a jerrycan and just refueled right there.
And honestly, at this point, it felt very on-brand for us.
Just another normal family travel moment.
Pattaya: Pro tip
Always bring duct tape.
Why? Because you can fix everything with it.
For example: I put all our laundry in the washing machine. The place had drying racks outside — perfect. Hang it up, go work, come back later. I even set an alarm.
I came back for my laundry…
…and someone had taken over every single rack.
So there I was with two big bags of wet clothes and zero place to dry anything.
Solution?
I made my own drying line with duct tape — from the balcony… to the stroller.
Mike asked if I had started my own laundry service.
And the best part is: when you want to leave with the stroller… well… you can’t.
Not until the clothes are dry.
But afterwards we where ready to pack clean clothes for the next part.
